Here is one of my favorites because it speaks to the part of me that realized it is free to suffer, because I am human, not forced to suffer because I am broken.

The Well of Grief

Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief

turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe

will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,

nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.

– David Whyte
from Where Many Rivers Meet
©2007 Many Rivers Press

By Carlene Ashby

“Ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down. The truth is, we’ve become so controlled by shoulds, oughts, musts, have-tos that we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important.” ~ Barbara Stanny

Is this you?  Do you have trouble slowing down?  Difficulty saying no? Problems staying present with what you are doing?
Are you addicted to busyness?  I confess, I am.  It is my biggest vice.
It is a major problem amongst most people these days, especially entrepreneurs.  Think about it, when was the last time you sat down to eat a meal in silence without reading or watching tv?  Can you just sit on your deck and pay attention to the sun on your skin, or do you need to have your laptop there, checking emails compulsively?  Is your phone on 24 hours a day?
The irony of the addiction to busyness is that it comes from a drive to succeed and a compulsion to get more done, but it is actually counterproductive because the well of what needs to be done never runs dry.  The well just gets deeper as society’s expectations of productivity increases.
In today’s society, multitasking is an expectation.  Doing one thing at a time, mindfully, is almost impossible with the invention of Blackberrys, iPhones, faster computers, dvds in vehicles, and laptops that keep getting smaller and more portable.  We can’t even stop texting while we drive for crying out loud.  But why are we doing this?  Truly,what is the point of this multi-tasking?
My answer has always been, well, if I get more done now, then I can relax later.  I’ve always included technologies that help me get several things done at once, so that I can be done.  But I’m never done!
At the end of the day, when I should be able to feel great about what I’ve accomplished and relax, I just feel anxious about all the things I have to do tomorrow and all the things I could be doing in that moment.
I have structured my lifestyle so that I work part-time so I can enjoy free time and pursue my passions which most people would find enviable, but lately I’ve noticed that I am not enjoying any of that extra time because I am thinking about work while I’m doing it.
Does any of this ring a bell for you?  If so, you may want to do this week’s assignment and detox the busy drug from your life.
Your Prosperity Assignment Should You Choose To Accept It:
1)     Organize yourself- Many times we’re doing too many things at once because we ‘re just taking on projects as they pop up and shifting our priorities as the day goes on.  As more projects come up, write them down in your day timer (you do use one, right?!) and decide which needs to happen next.  Decide if you can finish what you are doing, or if you need to come back to it.
2)     Say NO!  Stop adding things to your plate simply because someone asks.  If you find it hard to say no, try this, “Thanks for asking, but no, I simply can’t.  It works well because there is nothing to argue with.
3)     Do one thing at a time.  Just for today!-  I will not tell you to just simply do one thing at a time for the rest of your life and- tada!-  problem solved.  Au contraire.  It will take time to practice doing one thing at a time, so challenge yourself in each moment to be present with what you are doing.  Eat sitting down and taste your food.  Write your blog with the tv off.  Check your email once a day- okay twice.  Drive without talking on your phone or texting.  Watch tv without trying to work!  Just be present with whatever you are doing for a moment, an hour, a morning, a day.
4)     Write down all your beliefs about relaxation, work, multi-tasking, busyness, etc and question them.  Do The Work of Byron Katie on your thoughts and see if you can find alternative realities to your current thoughts and beliefs.  You may surprise yourself.  Visit www.thework.com on how to do inquiry.
5)     Schedule down time.  If you want to end your work day at 8pm, turn off the phone at 8, turn off the computer and relax with a cup of tea and a good book.  But don’t do chores or work.  Just enjoy and see what happens!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

By Carlene Ashby

A wise man once said, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”  That wise man was Dr. Seuss, a man who created great success for himself by doing what he was great at.  He chose his path and he decided on his own direction.

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, one of the best books on success of all time, wrote about the power of decision.  He describes that the key to success is a burning desire that will cause you to do absolutely whatever it takes to get what you want.  That desire is the key to decision.

The word, decide comes from the Latin, decidere, which literally means “to cut off from.” When you decide, you cut yourself off from all other possibilities.

There is no limit to what you can do once you truly decide to do it.  History is full of people who were called dreamers and worse for following their heart’s true desire and without them nothing great could have been accomplished.  Martin Luther King, Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama all came from humble beginnings and faced great obstacles.  They were all told at several points to give up on their dreams, that they were being unrealistic, that they would not be successful.  And yet they persevered.  They had the burning desire to succeed and so they decided to do whatever it took to achieve their dreams.

“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed.” -Dr. Seuss

Are you ready to decide to create a successful business with the lifestyle you dream of?

Excellent.  Let’s get started.  The key to decision is motivation.  As Tony Robbins says, there are two motivators for humans.  Pain and pleasure.  We will do more to avoid pain than gain pleasure.  Does this mean we need to begin to hate our lives before we make a change?  Well, no, but discomfort is necessary.

If you are perfectly comfortable in your life, then why change anything?  You must become uncomfortable enough to make a change.  How do we do this?  Decide on a goal, and then look at the benefits of accomplishing it and the consequences of not accomplishing it.

Well first, define what it is that you want to create.  For example, let’s say you decide you want to create a successful information marketing business.  You are going to sell you proprietary system for creating organic babyfood easily and inexpensively.  You want to work 25 hours a week and you want to make $150,000 a year.

Now define all the great reasons for doing that.   Why do you want to create that kind of success?  You want to help parents raise healthy babies, you want to vacation often, live in a bigger home with a large garden and finally afford to go to that spa retreat in the mountains once a month.  Great.  How will you feel when you accomplish this?  Proud, grateful, joyful, abundant?

Now what will happen and how will you feel if you do not create success in your business?  You’ll keep going to that dead-end job, you’ll slowly have your soul sucked out one draining day at a time, you’ll continue to lose your passion for life, you be disappointed in yourself, etc.  Connect to the emotions of not accomplishing the goal.

Now decide.  Are you going to do what it takes to accomplish it?  Will you walk through fire to create success for yourself?  Will you do that which others won’t to get the results that others wish for?  If you can say yes, then you are committed.

Write out your decision and place it somewhere you will see it everyday.  Tell supportive people about your decision.  Ignore the unsupportive ones. Remember, as the infinitely wise Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Now create the structure for that commitment.  When will you set aside time for your business creation, your marketing efforts, your education, your brainstorming?  Who will you enlist to help you achieve your goal?  Who will keep you accountable on this journey?  How will you fund this endeavor?  What will you give up in order to make room for this success?  Every day ask yourself, is this action bringing me closer to my purpose?  If the answer is anything but yes, choose something else.

And so I will end with the great Dr. Seuss “Today is your day, your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

By Carlene Ashby

“What the mind of man can conceive and believe, It can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Mr. Hill was a manifesting master.  If you’ve read Think and Grow Rich, you know how important it is to keep your goals front and centre in your mind.  (If you haven’t, then finish reading this article and go get that book.)

A great way to keep your focus on your goals is to have a physical reminder of them.

I’m talking of course, about vision boards.  If you haven’t heard of a vision board, it is a canvas, a corkboard or a poster board that is covered in images and items that stimulate your imagination to experience the feeling of having that which you desire.

For instance, I have a vision board for my career that represents myself helping millions of people who in turn help millions of others.  I put things on there that represent wealth, joy, my ideal client, (which we’ll get into next,) and the team that I need to be successful.

You can use anything on your vision board that makes you feel fantastic.  Use photos, cheques, magazine images, drawings, whatever you want.  All that is important is that your vision board comes from your creative juices and makes you feel good when you look at it.

So here is your assignment should you choose to accept it:

Get your creative juices flowing!  Use your imagination to create a detailed vision for your future and create a physical manifestation of that vision!

Step 1:  Write out everything you want to experience in relation to your goal.  Success, money, love, joy, fulfillment, etc.

Step 2:  Then find or create an item for your board that represents each of these experiences.

Step 3:  Attach them to your board in whichever manner you please, and Voila!  You have a vision board that will be a powerful manifestation tool for you.

Step 4:  Put it in a conspicuous spot you will look at frequently throughout the day and let those good feelings flow!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

Squash Your Gremlins

By Carlene Ashby

The hands-down hardest thing about being an entrepreneur when you’re starting out is keeping the faith.  When there aren’t enough clients and the bills are piling up, it can be really hard to stay focused.

It can be really easy to start listening to the gremlin in your head that says something like this: “You’re crazy to be doing this! Who do you think you are? You’ll never make a living at this! You should just give up and get a job.”  Sound familiar?

Everyone has their doubts and fears.  And almost everyone has at least one naysayer in their life who project their own doubts and fears on you.

The key to drowning out that toxic noise is to focus on why you’re doing this.  Focus on your purpose.  You have been given specific gifts and talents in order to serve a specific group of people.  And that group needs you!  They need you to serve them.  You have a duty to bring your gifts to these people to improve their lives.

And what about you?  Think about all the reasons that you want to do this.  Think about the freedom that comes from being self-employed.  Think of the opportunities to do what you love, to make passive income, to spend more time with your family, to travel, to refuse to drive during rush hour!

Focusing on all the reasons you want and need to make this successful can help you do the things that you need to do but may not want to do.  When you are feeling too shy to approach a colleague about a joint venture, or too intimidated to speak at a seminar, think of all those reasons to be brave.

Your Prosperity Assignment Should You Choose To Accept:

Create a list of reasons to be brave, to think bigger, to get more done in a day than humanly be possible and make your dream a reality.

Put your top ten reasons together and make several copies:

1. Make a wallet sized copy and put it in the clear, driver’s license spot so you can be reminded every time you open it.
2. Put a copy on the bathroom mirror so you every morning, you inspire yourself  to be great!
3. Put a big, colourful copy in your workspace where you can see it to keep you motivated throughout the day.

This sounds simple, but it works, I promise.  Don’t delay.   Don’t say, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it later.”  Do it now.  Make your list today, so that if a day comes when you feel worn out or hopeless, or just plain discouraged, you’ll have 10 good reasons to get up and give it all you’ve got!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

By Carlene Ashby

Let’s talk about the number one entrepreneurial sin: Laziness!  We all through it from time to time; not wanting to get out of our pajamas, not wanting to make cold-calls or write that article.  Working for one’s self can be so freeing and rewarding, but with that freedom can come a lack of discipline.

Discipline is so important to an entrepreneur.  Discipline is the difference between creating a successful business and having a hobby.  This doesn’t mean you have to sit in your office from 6am to 10 pm, slaving away.  What it does mean is that you have a set schedule and a routine.

Your Prosperity Assignment Should You Choose To Accept It:

1. Set up a workspace where all you do is work. This area is not for eating, watching t.v. or napping.  Ideally it is a room that you can close the door on and put up a do not disturb sign.  Let your family and partners know that your workspace is where you do business and it is to be respected as a place of business.
2. Create a calendar for the week and decide what you will do on each day. For example: On Mondays I write articles, attend a mastermind meeting and work with my business coach.  On Tuesdays I work with clients and work on press releases.  On Wednesdays I work with clients and do administrative work, on Thursdays I work on marketing, joint ventures, networking and cultivating referrals.  On Fridays I work with clients in the morning and use the afternoon to treat myself to whatever I need, such as a massage, a manicure, a pedicure or even lunch with a friend.  Create your own schedule this way.  Make sure you have at least one day a week set aside for marketing.
3. Create time slots for each day for you to get up, exercise, meditate, eat breakfast, work, break for tea, work, eat lunch, etc, etc.  Perhaps you will only work until 2pm, that’s fine, just make sure you have an end point to your day or you could get swallowed up in work and we don’t want that either.
4. Set up a monthly calendar that you can see at a glance and use it whenever you schedule something with someone.  This prevents double bookings and lets you see if you are piling too much into one week.  Don’t burn yourself out by cramming too much into each week or booking too many meetings back-to-back.  I use a day timer for this and I couldn’t live without it!
5. For 30 days, follow your schedule to a T! Do not do anything that you do not have scheduled in your day timer during work hours.  If something comes up that you absolutely must do, sit for a moment and ask yourself if this is truly important enough to deviate from your schedule.  Family emergencies, illnesses and lunch with your hero fall into that category.  Lunch with your best friend, a sale at Pier 1 and watching YouTube videos do not.  If you decide this is truly important, put it in your day timer, make sure that there are no conflicts.
6. At the end of 30 days, evaluate your schedule for efficiency. Were some days of the week better suited to certain tasks?  Adjust your schedule accordingly.

And Voila!  You are now an Entrepreneurial Ninja!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby